Runner Leana

...sometimes with a little swimming and biking thrown in...

It Started and Ended with Death

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I remember 9.5 years ago I was on my way home from my first day at my new job here in Calgary.  I had just moved here from San Antonio, Texas and I was navigating my way home through the new to me public transit system.  I learned that my aunt had passed away from cancer on this very same day.

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In some ways this job began and ended with death.  I always associated my first day at work with my aunt’s death.  It ended with a metaphorical death this week when my job ended on someone else’s terms.  I was one of an unspecified number of people let go that day, but it was somewhere in the triple digit range.

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For more than a year now it feels like every week there is a story in the news about another company laying off large numbers of people.  I love Calgary, but it has been a difficult and scary time to navigate.  When you go to university, spend five years getting your degree and then an additional 15 years working in your industry what you do becomes a part of your identity.

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I had an inkling that life was about to change, so when I stated in January that I was spending time thinking about what brings me joy it was not an idle comment.  I plan to use some time to think and reflect on what I love doing and where my skills and talents lie.  Otherwise I would say I feel a bit numb about recent events.  I also feel a sense of fear of the unknown, but I also feel a small kernel of hope.

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I don’t think it will be easy, but I hope to embrace the fear and to think about what really brings me joy.  I don’t know where this is going to go…but let’s find out.

I am linking up with Amanda from Running with Spoons for Thinking Out Loud.

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Comments

  2. 3

    Leana–I’m so sorry you lost your job. It’s a tough time right now for so many-my husband is feeling the trickle down effect from a slow economy in his job. I love this city too and hate to see bad things happening to good and hard-working folks. I wish you best of luck as you find a new path.

  3. 5

    I’m so sorry to hear you were let go. I was one of those people in March of 2015. It does feel like a death. Allow yourself to grieve and process. The one thing that helped me so much was taking stock of what I had and I was grateful for each thing in my life. I then decided to do the 21 Day Gratitude Experiment which was the best thing I could have done. This too shall pass, my friend! Be strong….Be grateful…..Be Leanna!

  4. 7

    You are absolutely amazing and I have no doubt that this will push you into an awesome new opportunity. I look forward to hearing what that is in the future but take the time to grieve the loss of the job. And the time to just have the space to think. xx
    courtney recently posted…Learning to Run Alone My Profile

  7. 13

    I know your pain. It’s happened to me too. I went a year without work back in 2009. Mostly it was good. Toward the end I was beginning to wonder a little if I’d ever work again. But I was also busy enough that I was beginning to wonder if I’d ever have time to work again, or even if I wanted to.

    Take all the stuff in your package about transitioning, resume writing, financial advice, whatever. Even if you think you know it. The real value is the networking. There are jobs out there.

    It’s easy to look at this as a death. Some people are never the same after this experience. But you already see the hope. Nurture it. This is a perfect opportunity to reflect and decide what you want to do.
    keith recently posted…Shoes and shortsMy Profile

    • 16

      Amanda, thank you so much for your comment my friend! I do appreciate it! I would love to hear more about how you’ve been able to seek out and find so many amazing opportunities through blogging.

  9. 17

    You have an amazing attitude despite the difficult times. I am sorry about your job in Calgary. I cannot believe what is happening in Alberta right now. Here’s hoping another more exciting opportunity comes your way. Thanks for your honesty and reflection.

  10. 19

    I’m so sorry to hear you lost your job. Calgary is a tough place to be right now. I was laid off in Sept 2014, and it was one of the toughest things I’ve been through, but I survived and even thrived. I think the mental toughness you have developed in order to accomplish the things you have accomplished (like 3!! Iron Mans) will serve you well in this transition period. Best of luck in this new chapter of your life!

    • 20

      Christine, thank you so much for your comment. I’m sorry to hear you went through something similar not too long ago. What worked for you to survive and thrive on the other side of it?

  13. 25

    So sorry to hear about your job, girl 🙁 Those big life changes are never easy to deal with, BUT I’m loving your “let’s find out where this goes” attitude. I know it’ sounds a little cliche, but the closing of one chapter of our lives can definitely be an awesome opportunity for something bigger and better. Sending all the best vibes your way!
    Amanda recently posted…excuse our mess, missing you, & the way to my heart (ToL#169)My Profile

  14. 27

    So sorry to hear about your job loss. Calgary is a rough place to be these days – I kind of hate reading the news now because there’s always news of some new round of cuts. You have a wonderful attitude about the whole thing, and I know that a lot of doors will open up for you because of it.
    Heather recently posted…Some Thoughts on a Thursday #10My Profile

    • 32

      Thank you so much Ange. It was a pleasure “working” with you! I have no doubt that day was rough no matter what. It is really difficult to see layoffs happen no matter which side you are on.

  17. 33

    I am so sorry to hear about both unfortunate moments in your life. Being laid-off could be a sign from God saying it is time to care for yourself and go on to your next adventure in life! You have such a positive attitude and that will get you very far, Leana! I pray that everything works out for you and that this time will bring more nothing but good things 🙂

    Take care,
    C | http://atlantic-c.blogspot.ca/

    • 34

      Charlotte, thank you so much for your lovely comment, I really appreciate it. I am definitely trying to take this as a sign that it is time to do something a little bit different. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

  19. 37

    Losing a job IS like a death.

    The company I worked for many years ago went out of business. I didn’t know at the time that it would just be for the weekend (another company bought and merged with us), and we didn’t really need the income from my job — it was STILL stressful.

    Good luck!

    • 38

      Judy, thank you so much for your comment. It is stressful, but I’m staying positive! I’m glad to hear things worked out for you after your old company was purchased.

  20. 39

    So sorry to hear about this, but I think that you are approaching it with a great attitude – to give yourself time to feel what you need to feel, reflect and think about what’s next.
    I empathize – while I wasn’t laid off, leaving my job of 10 years last June was one of the hardest decisions I’ve made, and the changes that have come with leaving aren’t bad, by any means, but it’s been an adjustment in so many ways.
    Kristina recently posted…Cambodia: Wrapping up the temple tourMy Profile

    • 40

      Kristina, thank you so much for your comment. Day to day life definitely changes, that is for sure! I’m glad to hear you’ve seen positive changes after leaving your old job!

  21. 41

    So sorry to hear about your job! It can be scary when the future is unknown but it sounds like you are going to make the most of it.

    I really hope this leads to bigger and better things!

  22. 43

    Sorry to hear you were affected. You have a great attitude about the situation and that will help you weather this storm and find the good in all of this.

  23. 45

    Oh Leana, I know what you’re going through. I moved from my home, family, and friends to take my dream job in a very big city. I loved that job for 6 years, put my heart and soul into it, it was definitely my identity. Then, just like you, I was one of many to lose my job on a single day. My dream was cut short and unfortunately I’m still trying to figure out where I need/want my life to take me. Thankfully though, you have so many incredible talents and passions. The numb feeling will start to wear off a little bit and you can start putting your energy into those positive emotions and finding your path forward. I have no doubt that you will go great places in whatever you choose to do! You are incredible and I’m so glad I got to know you at BirdCamp a few years ago because you are such a great inspiration! Stay strong!

    • 46

      Lisa, thank you so much for your lovely comment! I really appreciate it. I’m so sorry to hear that you went through something similar and that you are still in the process of figuring things out. If you are around in Boulder in August I hope we can connect again. I loved our trail run in Bend and cherished the opportunity to get to know you better. I’d also love an opportunity to hear more about life in Boulder/Colorado. Boulder would be on a list of places we would love to move to some day.

  25. 49

    You have a proven track record of showing your tremendous depth of courage, confidence and fortitude for working your way through tough challenges. I am sure these qualities will come to the forefront as you find your way along this new journey.

  26. 51

    Aww (Hugs) So sorry to hear this, Leana! We’ve been in wait and see mode with Hubby at Enbridge too…sometimes these things can end up being blessings in disguise. I hope it works that way for you. <3

    • 52

      Thanks so much Cori. I hope things are okay with your husband at Enbridge. It is definitely a stressful time for everyone in the industry.

  27. 53

    So sorry to hear that you lost your job Leana. It’s never an easy thing. Hope the perfect opportunity comes along for you soon!

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