I remember 9.5 years ago I was on my way home from my first day at my new job here in Calgary. I had just moved here from San Antonio, Texas and I was navigating my way home through the new to me public transit system. I learned that my aunt had passed away from cancer on this very same day.
In some ways this job began and ended with death. I always associated my first day at work with my aunt’s death. It ended with a metaphorical death this week when my job ended on someone else’s terms. I was one of an unspecified number of people let go that day, but it was somewhere in the triple digit range.
For more than a year now it feels like every week there is a story in the news about another company laying off large numbers of people. I love Calgary, but it has been a difficult and scary time to navigate. When you go to university, spend five years getting your degree and then an additional 15 years working in your industry what you do becomes a part of your identity.
I had an inkling that life was about to change, so when I stated in January that I was spending time thinking about what brings me joy it was not an idle comment. I plan to use some time to think and reflect on what I love doing and where my skills and talents lie. Otherwise I would say I feel a bit numb about recent events. I also feel a sense of fear of the unknown, but I also feel a small kernel of hope.
I don’t think it will be easy, but I hope to embrace the fear and to think about what really brings me joy. I don’t know where this is going to go…but let’s find out.
I am linking up with Amanda from Running with Spoons for Thinking Out Loud.